Thursday, May 19, 2011

MAY 19 IRRECONCILABLE RELATIONSHIPS

     WE have two instances of relationships gone bad in just one reading. The first part we read about David and Saul and in the latter half we read about David and Abigail. David has the perfect scenario he needs to convince Saul that he is not malicious; and at first it works, Saul calms down but eventually that "proof" is forgotten, it has no lasting effect and the relationship between David and Saul quickly deteriorates back to what it was. Trying to prove we are not "bad' and vindicate ourselves to those whose view of us has been tainted and/or even poisoned, is often a useless exercise. The cleverest argument, the most convincing evidence will have no lasting effect because the real issue is "their heart". When one individual in a relationship does not have a right heart, nothing can be resolved; however the opposite is also true, that when both individuals have a right heart, the worse circumstances can be reconciled.  Anything can be resolved by two people with right hearts; while nothing can be resolved by two people when one or both is dealing with a bad heart.  The difference is perfectly clear between David and Saul and David and Abigail. David is furious with Nabal, and rightly so and is going to annihilate Nabal and his hold household, including Abigail. How different it is though between David and Abigail. Here you have two individuals, both with right hearts and they are able to talk this over and listen to reason. The issue is never how bad the violation, the issue is always how bad "the heart".  I've seen couples recover from moral infidelity while other couples cannot recover over a simple lie that has been told. The issue is "the heart". Are you spending countless hours and energy trying to rectify a relationship that no matter how much you pray and try, it is to no avail? Perhaps you are dealing with someone that is not so much been violated or unjustly treated, but rather with someone who simply does not have a right heart anymore. The issue is no longer the violation (though they may have been one) the issue now is "their heart".  I have had messy situations that I knew would turn out okay because I knew the people I was dealing with were mature Christians with good hearts.  I have also had other situations that were not so flammable, but yet was not as confident things would work out, and they didn't.  Trying to justify and reconcile relationships with people that don't have a right heart is futile; our job is to reach out and try, then leave the rest with God and most importantly, to guard our own hearts and make sure we don't get bitter towards them or allow our hearts to become tainted too.