JANUARY 14 "THE ISSUE IS NOT THE ISSUE"

  When we are naïve and foolish, we find ourselves drawn in to arguments and dramas, where we are actually fighting and arguing, over an issue, that is really, not the issue. Selfishness is not the issue with Leah, although, at first glance, it would appear that way. Rachel could have stood there and argued with Leah about how she's selfish, she's always been selfish and that's the issue and until Leah learns not to be selfish....However, that would solve nothing because the issue is not "selfishness". Leah is not withholding the mandrakes from Rachel because she's selfish. They could stand there and argue all day, as some do, about an issue, that is not the issue. Often times there is a much deeper issue than what is being argued about on a surface level. Rachel could have won the argument and Leah surrendered the mandrakes over to her sister, but the issue would not have been solved. The reason, we find out later, that Leah won't share the mandrakes with Rachel is not because she's selfish, it's because she's bitter! Bitter? Yes, she's bitter at Rachel for stealing her husband. Imagine how many arguments Rachel has gotten into with Leah over the years and Rachel just walked away, scratching her head wondering, why her sister is so angry, why her sister is so selfish, why her sister is so "short fused". It is because, all along, the issue was never the issue. The real issue, the deeper issue, has always been, "bitterness". Why do some relationships never get better after years and years of counseling? Because all that's ever brought up and dealt with are the surface issues, that are not really the issues at all. Are you in a contentious relationship with someone? Are they constantly short fused with you or perhaps vice-verse? You have tried to discuss the contentious relationship, but nothing gets resolved? Perhaps it's because the issue is not the issue! Perhaps there is a deeper issue between the two of you than you are willing to admit and discuss! Perhaps there is some deep rooted bitterness and resentment; that until that issue comes up and is dealt with, you will always continue to be in a contentious relationship with each other, because "the issue is not the issue!!!".

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